Growthtrac insidetrac, Life Changing Marriage Resources

Virginity to the Extreme

By now you know that I -- and the Growthtrac ministry -- are proponents of pre-marriage purity commitments (see here and here). This couple created some buzz with their promise...

Won't kiss on the first date? How about waiting until marriage?

Chicagoans Melody LaLuz and Claudaniel Fabien shared their first kiss Saturday at the altar. The two teach abstinence at the city's public schools and practiced what they preached to their teenage students.

The Chicago Tribune reports that the couple had never kissed and that they had never been alone together in a house.

A friend of LaLuz says wedding guests cheered and stomped during the two-minute smooch between the 28-year-old bride and the 30-year-old groom.

A New Adventure

Sheri and I have been busy lately -- actually since early in the year -- helping with a new church launch.

We've been active participants of "our church" for twenty-plus years. We love that place, especially our pre-marriage mentoring ministry. It's where I discovered Christ and where my wife, kids and I were baptized. Lots of history.

But when a long-time friend, a pastor and former staff member at my church, shared his vision for a new church plant -- we had a decision to make.

I'm a sucker for church plants: the energy, the people, the expectation of what God's going to do. But when my friend asked us to join the leadership team, I had mixed emotions. Should we leave a church we love? A church where we're established, serving and well... comfortable.

What would be the downside of helping this new church -- even for a season? What's the risk?

We officially made the transition this week, giving "notice" to our ministry commitments. We're not sure if this is a permanent move. We'll see.

What's extra-exciting is that we'll be on the ground floor of a new marriage ministry, serving new people and helping craft new programs.

Exciting times.  What's the risk?

Check-out Waterfront Community Church, in Schaumburg

New Marriage Blog

I think you'll like Sheri Mueller's new blog over at sherimueller.com
Sheri is the co-founder of Growthtrac (and my better two-thirds).

Check it out now and enjoy.

Invest In Your Spouse

Here's a fresh take on a message we evangelize often: put your spouse first.
From Jay and Laura at Celebrate Marriage.

A friend of mine is a stock broker and recently relayed this story.

He was on the phone with a client who was bemoaning the fact that she was always exhausted. She worked full time and when she came home devoted her total attention to her 5 year old daughter until it was time for the daughter to go to bed. Then, the client relayed she would collapse into bed and start all over the next day.

At this point my friend stopped with the financial advice and asked “Can I give you some personal advice?” “Sure” replied the client. My friend then said he felt led by the Lord to tell his client that she needed to come home from work and focus on her husband instead of the daughter.

He went on to say that there was a period in his marriage where his wife was a great mother but not a great wife and that their marriage went “sideways” for about 10 years.  He said that by focusing on her husband, the daughter would be better off in the long run.

The client then told my friend that there had been a few times in her life where she felt “direct Divine intervention” and that this was one of those times. She was going to go home and talk this through with her husband and begin to focus on him.

My friend said he left work that day feeling better than if he’d sold a million dollars in stock!

Invest in your spouse and reap both immediate and eternal dividends.

Couples Who Pray Together, A New Study

A new book — Couples Who Pray — is capturing the attention of ministry leaders who realize they have an opportunity to raise the security of marriages and families simply by challenging couples to pray together on a regular basis.

Baylor University evaluated research associated with the book. The findings revealed that frequent prayer produced significant results:

• Spousal communication increased
• Respect increased
• Agreement became the norm
• Happiness increased
• Satisfaction in intimacy increased

Hey! That's what we've been saying all along!

Check out coupleswhopray.com

Source: Willow magazine

Six Little Words = Awesome Intimacy

I heard the words...

They touched my heart and it started beating wildly in my chest...

I stopped in my tracks, I had to catch my breath...

The words that touched my soul to its inner depths and made my toes tingle...

WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP?

In marriage, these magical words of understanding have a way of deflating conflict and moving a couple toward intimacy.

Hearing the words what can I do to help? makes you feel that someone genuinely cares about your well-being and the load on your shoulders.  It eases the stress of a long and tiresome day.

When you experience a moment where your spouse wants to put your needs above their own and serve you, it opens your heart to connect with them.  The more we connect our hearts as husband and wife, the deeper our intimacy grows.

Next time you see your spouse running around in circles trying to accomplish 101 things in their day, say these loving words ... what can I do to help?

A word of caution the first time you use them - be prepared to perform CPR.

Serving and Submitting

If you've been reading here for a while, you know one thing we're passionate about is serving your spouse. We talk about it often.

Jon over at Stuff Christians Like -- by the way, one of my favorite blogs -- wrote an outstanding post on this topic. Check it out.

California Same-Sex Marriage

At 5 p.m. PDT (8 p.m. EDT) Monday, the California Supreme Court's May ruling creating homosexual marriage took effect and the words "Party A" and "Party B" replaced "bride" and "groom" on marriage licenses. Hundreds, if not thousands, of same-sex couples throughout California took advantage of the occasion.

The decision by the California Supreme Court — to implement its May 15 decision legalizing same-sex "marriage," despite the fact that an amendment poised to nullify that decision is now on the November ballot — poses a real and present danger to the democratic process in this state. *

Last month the court voted 4-3 to declare unconstitutional the existing law defining marriage as exactly what the great majority of Californians know it to be: the union of one man and one woman. To issue that ruling, the four-judge majority had to ignore thousands of years of legal tradition and the clear wishes of most California voters —instead deciding to experiment in lawmaking and culture-shifting.

Unfortunately, four judges facilitated that compromise by assuming the role of the legislature, dispensing with hundreds of years of unshakable legal precedent, and carelessly ignoring the votes of more than 4 million Californians.

Of course, none of that matters to those pressing the homosexual legal and political agenda.

The same-sex couples now lining up to have their "marriage" licenses approved are doing so knowing full well that such unions are under a cloud of uncertainty until November.

That's the choice California's voters will have to make, come November — a choice not only to defend marriage, but to protect the foundations of their democratic system.

I hope the ceremonies spark a backlash among California voters this fall, when they face a referendum on the ballot asking to overturn the California Court's decision. A potential backlash that will help preserve the definition of marriage as one man and one woman under the state constitution.

It's a tragic day for this country when California judges impose so-called gay marriage and the governor so easily relents to judicial activism. I think it is very wrong, and I hope it gets overturned in November.

(*) Los Angeles Times.

Jesus VS. Christians

How are Christians (me and possibly, you) viewed in this culture? As a person who remembers what he thought of Christians before he became one -- my 'Bad Christian Radar' is always active, filtering what I do and say through the eyes of the non-believer.

It's not easy. Tele-Evangelists, anti-Gay demonstrators, legalism, organ music, irrelevant liturgy, unattractive churches, unloving religious fanatics and bad Sunday leisure suits -- paint the popular opinion. Tough competition.

As part of his talk, Scott Hodge showed this video. The video is straightforward, bothersome, and quite revealing as it illustrates a huge gap between how people view Jesus and how they view the people who are supposed to be representing him.

Scott says, the video was not edited to make a point.  In the 45 minutes of interviews, he did not receive ONE positive comment for the second half of the video.

From Scott Hodge's blog, pastor at The Orchard.

Gas Pains

Regular gas in the Chicago area is well over $4 a gallon. Fortunately Sheri and I work at home. I don't know how normal people do it, commuting and filling-up twice a week!

This week we're hosting a couple from Norway while they attend a conference at our church. Last night after liter-to-gallon and Kroner-to-Dollar conversions I was surprised to learn that a gallon of fuel in Norway is over $12 a gallon!

At 5,000,000, Norway's population is half that of Chicago -- and the geography much tighter --  making alternative transportation modes (bicycles and walking) more viable. Fuel prices aren't big news in Norway.

Does anyone else get the idea God is trying to get America's attention?