Mimi Rothschild, Home School Advocate - The Homeschooling News Café

-by Mimi Rothschild

When we think of homeschooling’s benefits, we usually think of the opportunity to provide a first-class education at much less than the cost of a typical private school, the chance each child has to work at his or her own pace and in the best way for that particular child, or the blessings of learning in a nurturing Christian environment.

There are benefits for the parents as well. We have a closer family life, the ability to be sure of what our children are learning, and the pleasure of spending more time with our precious children as they grow.

There’s another benefit for parents, though, one we often overlook when we count our blessings as homeschoolers.

Have you thought about your own education? It’s true, refreshing our knowledge of the things we learned in school – or occasionally the things we should have learned in school and didn’t – is one of the great benefits we homeschool parents gain from our children’s schooling.

Some of the things we now have the opportunity to learn, such as web design, the history of Christian music or forensic science, may never have been available to us when we were students. Now we can take pleasure in learning these things as adults.

For no cost of time or money above the investment we’re already making in our children’s education, we can polish up our algebra, learn about world history with our more mature understanding, and perhaps finally get complete comprehension of how to multiply fractions.

Our children get to see our own excitement in learning, and to have our example of diligent study and an enthusiastic teachable spirit. Our friends and spouses get a more interesting and informed conversational partner. And we get the satisfaction of being better educated individuals.

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Mimi Rothschild is the Founder of LearningByGrace.org the nation’s leading provider of online PreK-12 online Christian educational programs for homeschoolers.

Maybe you’re one of the blessed ones and all of your children pay perfect attention and are thrilled to participate in all their subjects.  But if you’re like most, you have at least one student that makes completing math problems or writing a paragraph like pulling teeth.  So what can you do to inspire that reluctant learner?  There are lots of simple things you can do.  Here are a few to get you started:

~Be Passionate.  Don’t just read.  Use funny voices, or act it out.  Don’t simply explain how to do long division, but turn it into a math game.  Let your passion for what you are doing, teaching, pass through whatever you are teaching.  Students tend to get excited about what their instructor is excited about.

~Be Vulnerable.  If there are certain things that you also struggled with when you were a student, be honest.  Share that with your children.  Sometimes it can be inspirational to them just to know that they are not alone.  It also helps to see that you overcame your barriers.

~Make It Real.  Tell real-life stories and give actual scenarios within your lessons whenever possible, to make boring material come alive.  Acting out stories and conducting science experiments bring to life the lessons on the page.  Children tend to get bored and become less cooperative when they don’t understand something, so putting things into perspective and making it real to them can make the world of difference.

~Encourage, encourage, encourage.  And when you’re done, encourage some more.  There isn’t anyone on this earth that doesn’t feel uplifted and inspired when they’re told they’re doing a great job.  Children are no exception.  Maybe your stubborn learner struggles with math, but they excel at science.  When they get an answer right or do well on their practice work, make a big deal!  Remind them frequently how intelligent and talented they are, and you will surely see a difference in their overall attitude.

~Change Things Up.  Although it’s important to have structure and order to your homeschool day, sometimes just making some minor changes to surprise your students can help get them back on track with learning.  Instead of doing English in the morning, start off with the subject you usually reserve for the end of the day.  The change can be refreshing for everyone.

~Don’t Forget to Pray!  I’m sure I don’t need to remind you of this, but just in case….remember to incorporate your desire for cooperation and good attitudes from your students into your devotional (and let them hear it).  Suggest that your reluctant learner also ask the Lord for help during the day to stay focused and encouraged.  And remind them daily of what the Bible says they are capable of:

Luke 1:37
For with God nothing will be impossible.
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Every student is different, and inevitably some will struggle more than others.  But if you work at being creative and finding new ways to bring learning alive for them, the difference will surely be evident and remarkable.

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Mimi Rothschild is the Founder of LearningByGrace.org the nation’s leading provider of online PreK-12 online Christian educational programs for homeschoolers.

-by Mimi Rothschild

The beginning of the school year is so exciting! We have fresh new books, sharp new pencils, great new ideas, and lots of enthusiasm.

By now, there may be foot-dragging when it’s time to gather for lessons, staring out the window when there should be diligent work going on, and even a little bit of whining.

If it’s just a reluctant day or two, there might be occasions when you should take some time out and come back refreshed. A “mental health day” every now and then is okay. A constantly reluctant learner is frustrating for the home educator, though, and is likely to fall behind and fail to be prepared for future grades, college, or adult life.

Here are some ways to cope with the reluctant learner:

• Start your day with prayer. There may also be times when you need to stop during the day and have a prayer break before you go on. Ask God to guide you and your students, to give all of you the joy of learning, and to strengthen your discipline. Proverbs 23:12, “Apply your heart to discipline and your ears to words of knowledge,” is a good verse to remember at this time. Another is, “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:23,24).

• Be an enthusiastic example. It’s so easy for us to lightly say, “I always hated science,” or “You’re like me. I just never liked to read.” Keeping guard over our tongues and sharing our own love of learning can make a difference in our children’s attitude. Let your students see you being diligent about your personal Bible study or your homework for Sunday school, reading for pleasure, and keeping to your housekeeping schedule conscientiously. Helping the kids seek out the interesting aspects of the things they’re studying helps, too.

• Recognize that we don’t always want to do what’s best for us. Choosing to go ahead and study even when we don’t want to is great practice for an adult life when we sometimes have to go ahead and work even when we don’t feel like it. With practice, making that choice will get easier. If we give in whenever our kids make a fuss, it will give our kids practice in refusing to work, rather than practice in discipline and diligence. Say, “I know you don’t want to study right now. However, I also know that you will enjoy having your free time when we finish the lesson, and you’ll feel good about what you accomplish, so we’re going to continue.”

• Be open to change. Having recognized that sometimes reluctant students just need to be more diligent, it is also true that there can sometimes be good reasons for learners’ reluctance. Are the lessons appropriate for the ability level of the student? Do they last the right amount of time for the age of the student? Do they work with the student’s learning style? Homeschooling allows us to accommodate the specific needs of our students, so we should take advantage of that freedom to tailor the lessons to suit our children. For some students, just moving to a more comfortable place, changing activities more often, or giving them more control over things like the order in which they study their subjects can make a difference in attitude.

• Prayerfully consider rewards. We’d like to think that intrinsic rewards like the satisfaction of learning are always enough, but our own experience will tell us that this isn’t true. As adults, we often work because we’ll be paid, or because we enjoy the company of the people we work with, as well as for the sheer joy of service. However, making rewards the center of schoolwork can backfire, causing our children to depend so much on rewards that they won’t study without them. Occasional, surprise rewards work best: free reading time when our students have made it through a tough math lesson, a special meal on Friday night when they’ve stayed on task well all week, or stickers on particularly good papers.

If all these things fail to solve the problem of reluctant learners, be sure to consider your students’ physical health. Sometimes an undiagnosed vision problem, allergies, or other physical problems can distract children from their studies. With good physical health, good habits, and time, our students can become enthusiastic learners.

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Mimi Rothschild is the Founder of Learning By Grace, Inc. the nation’s leading provider of online PreK-12 online Christian educational programs for homeschoolers.

-by Mimi Rothschild

Children are all different. This is one of the reasons that homeschooling is such a blessing for so many families.

Teaching your children at home allows you to respond to the different needs, the varied interests, and the strengths and weaknesses of each child. But there are some things that we can expect of children at a given age. Our four year old child needs to change to a new activity about every ten minutes. This doesn’t mean that he has attention problems or that he is not focusing on learning. It means that he is four years old.

Our teenager may have trouble imagining the likely consequences of an action or understanding the feelings of other people, whether in history books or in real life. That doesn’t mean that she is on her way to becoming a sociopath.

It means that she is a teenager, and the natural reorganization of the brain that takes place at this time has left her less logical in her outlook that she was before or will be in the future.

This doesn’t mean that our children know naturally how to behave in all situations, and whatever they naturally do is correct. ”Train up a child in the way he should go,” Proverbs 22:6 teaches us, “and when he is old he will not depart from it.” This tells us that we have to teach our children how to behave appropriately. This is as much part of their essential learning as reading and writing.

How can we tell whether a child is behaving appropriately for his age, or behaving badly? If we have the child in a setting that is appropriate for his age, he should be able to behave in ways adults consider correct for that situation. So our young elementary age children should be able to follow the dinner table manners we’ve taught them at home well enough to enjoy meal in a fast food restaurant without raising any eyebrows. They should be welcome in movies, and able to play cooperatively with other children on a park playground.

But we shouldn’t expect them to behave the way adults do at a concert. They may need time to be able to listen appreciatively to sermons in church. They may find it difficult to sit quietly through adult conversation at a formal dinner party. They may not be ready for these experiences, and it may not be realistic for us to expect to be able to take them with us to these events.

When we make it clear that being able to go to “big church” instead of children’s church or to attend a performance of the symphony is a privilege that comes with growing up and learning how to behave, our children will work toward that goal. When we have realistic expectations for their behavior, they will be able to meet those expectations and become confident in social situations. Our children will continue, as 2 Peter 3:18 puts it, to “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” Their behavior will glorify God and be a credit to our families.

This is certainly a goal worth striving for.

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Mimi Rothschild is the Founder of Learning By Grace, Inc. the nation’s leading provider of online PreK-12 online Christian educational programs for homeschoolers.

-by Mimi Rothschild

You love homeschooling. You love the closeness it develops in your family. You love the progress your child is making.

But sometimes homeschooling can also be stressful. One of the most trying times in many families is that moment when you clear the schoolbooks off the table, power down the computer, and put dinner on the same table where you’ve been studying all day.

That paragraph makes it sound easy, doesn’t it? You turn off the computer and the workspace is tidy. You close the books, and the dining room is a lovely haven, a place for civilized meals.

Really? Not always, at my house at least. Sometimes the computer is still surrounded with papers and pens, and maybe music is still blaring from it too. Piles of books sit on the floor and all the chairs are still gathered there.

The dining room table has a welter of books and papers, too, plus art supplies, science equipment, and maybe some insect specimens or leaves. And the chairs? Oh, yes – they’re still gathered around the computer.

Food? Maybe we got too caught up in the novel we were reading to get around to taking the chicken out of the freezer. We begin to think that pizza delivery sounds like a good plan.

How can you avoid this scenario? A few simple techniques will help.

A place for everything — and everything is more likely to be in its place.

If you have a shelf for schoolbooks, a file box or drawer for papers (and file folders to put in it) and containers for supplies and equipment, then it will be much easier to gather things up and put them away than if you keep things in piles.

Don’t forget the margin.

When you plan your schedule, include some time for cleanup. If the school day ends at 3:00, then studies should end at 3:30. Gather everything and put it all away, meanwhile reviewing and discussing the best parts of the day.

In the morning, too, have time at the beginning for setting up the study area. I like to ask my older students what they read last night and how they liked it while we get everything set up. It’s not wasted time, but time spent together practicing the habits of being prepared, cleaning up, and keeping a peaceful, gentle heart.

Have a plan. And then have a backup plan.

Plan your meals at the beginning of the week, before you do your grocery shopping. At the beginning of your busy day, you can check your plan and see what preparation is required, what can be done in free moments during the day, and how much last-minute preparation you need to plan for.

When you make that plan, have one day when you can double the recipe and freeze half. Then, when the day gets away from you a little bit – and we all have days like that – you’ll have that container of soup or pan of enchiladas to pop into the microwave.

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Mimi Rothschild is the Founder of Learning By Grace, Inc. the nation’s leading provider of online PreK-12 online Christian educational programs for homeschoolers.

by Mimi Rothschild

Maybe you’re one of the blessed ones and all of your children pay perfect attention and are thrilled to participate in all their subjects. But if you’re like most, you have at least one student that makes completing math problems or writing a paragraph like pulling teeth. So what can you do to inspire that reluctant learner? There are lots of simple things you can do. Here are a few to get you started:

1. Be Passionate. Don’t just read. Use funny voices, or act it out. Don’t simply explain how to do long division, but turn it into a math game. Let your passion for what you are doing, teaching, pass through whatever you are teaching. Students tend to get excited about what their instructor is excited about.
2. Be Vulnerable. If there are certain things that you also struggled with when you were a student, be honest. Share that with your children. Sometimes it can be inspirational to them just to know that they are not alone. It also helps to see that you overcame your barriers.
3. Make It Real. Tell real-life stories and give actual scenarios within your lessons whenever possible, to make boring material come alive. Acting out stories and conducting science experiments bring to life the lessons on the page. Children tend to get bored and become less cooperative when they don’t understand something, so putting things into perspective and making it real to them can make the world of difference.
4. Encourage, encourage, encourage. And when you’re done, encourage some more. There isn’t anyone on this earth that doesn’t feel uplifted and inspired when they’re told they’re doing a great job. Children are no exception. Maybe your stubborn learner struggles with math, but they excel at science. When they get an answer right or do well on their practice work, make a big deal! Remind them frequently how intelligent and talented they are, and you will surely see a difference in their overall attitude.
5. Change Things Up. Although it’s important to have structure and order to your homeschool day, sometimes just making some minor changes to surprise your students can help get them back on track with learning. Instead of doing English in the morning, start off with the subject you usually reserve for the end of the day. The change can be refreshing for everyone.
6. Don’t Forget to Pray! I’m sure I don’t need to remind you of this, but just in case….remember to incorporate your desire for cooperation and good attitudes from your students into your devotional (and let them hear it). Suggest that your reluctant learner also ask the Lord for help during the day to stay focused and encouraged. And remind them daily of what the Bible says they are capable of:

   Luke 1:37
   For with God nothing will be impossible.
   Philippians 4:13
   I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Every student is different, and inevitably some will struggle more than others. But if you work at being creative and finding new ways to bring learning alive for them, the difference will surely be evident and remarkable.

-by Mimi Rothschild

Strategies for Teaching All Your Children Together

Probably most of us have had days when we think it might be better for us as homeschooling parents if we just had a set of twins. Then we could do one lesson for all our kids, instead of hopping back and forth from one to another.

On most days, though, we realize that it’s a blessing to have all the different ages together. Mixing up the ages helps our kids have the natural socialization of the family instead of being segregated into age groups. It gives the younger children the opportunity to look up to the older ones, and it gives the older children the chance to show care and tenderness for the younger ones. It lets children see how far they’ve come in their skills and learning, and look forward to where they’re going.

Can we have all those blessings without exhausting ourselves? We can, with a little planning. Here are some tips for homeschooling when you have a range of ages in the family:

Dovetail the work.

Work with the younger children while the older ones work on their own, and then settle the younger ones with play or a project while you check in with the older ones. It’s a sensible approach, but we have to plan ahead in order to accomplish it. Otherwise, we find ourselves getting one child started while the others wait, then starting the next one, and then the next one – and finding that the first child needs us again before we have the last one settled into work. This is a recipe for feeling frazzled by the end of the day!

As long as we get each child’s first activity of the day organized and set out before the day begins, we will be able to start everyone at once, with only one activity at a time needing us.

Get the older children involved.

Older siblings’ reading skills can benefit from the chance to read to the younger children. A six year old can cement his understanding of counting by explaining it to a five year old. A teenager learns from helping younger siblings plan and produce a play on the subject they’re studying.

Again, it takes planning to make sure the older child’s involvement in the younger ones’ lessons fits into the older child’s lessons, too. It helps to list an objective for each of the lessons. When our seven year old reads a story to the three year old, the three year old is practicing listening and the seven year old is practicing reading aloud. It will be a cherished memory for both of them.

Take time for yourself.

With all the planning and thought this requires, you need to be sure to build time for yourself into the day. The kids’ reading time could be your recreational reading time. Their time with online lessons could be your quiet prayer time. Nap time for the children should be nap time for you, too, and the kids who are too old to nap can spend that time in quiet play.

Once our family was driving to the nearby botanical gardens for a visit to support our lessons on plants. As we drove, we were talking about the history lesson the older children were working on: the Renaissance. In a break in the conversation, our baby spoke up: “Ty-renaissance rex,” he said confidently.

We all laughed. We figured he had put together snippets he’d heard from our study of dinosaurs with the history discussion he was listening to, and made up his own new word.

Over the years, we’ve seen how the younger kids’ enjoyment of family lessons has made it easier for them when they get ready to study, and encouraged the closeness of our whole family. It can be hard, but it’s certainly worth it.

by Mimi Rothschild

What are the experiences and opportunities that really count in building Christlike character and at the same time, can serve individual personality? How can the homeschool curriculum and homeschool program provide for such experiences and opportunities?

The Christian homeschooling teacher needs not only a clear-cut purpose, but we also must know his own children very well let’s talk about how we can better understand the nature and needs of our children. Without some degree of understanding the homeschooling teacher is poorly prepared to plan opportunities for normal Christian growth, to evaluate and make use of the child’s everyday experiences in encouraging such growth and to help them to overcome the obstacles that hinder his developing Christian self.

If Christian homeschooling parents are to guide their growing children effectively, they must be prepared to think of the homeschool as a school for living. It must be more than a place where children come to listen, where the “good” children are passively quiet ones who never “do” anything. It must be thought of as a place where children can not only are help to understand Christian troops, but also may have rich experience is in living by these truths. The age old but still truthful adage reminds us that children learn to do by doing. This is as true in learning to follow Christ as it is in learning to ride a bicycle. The homeschooling parent then must not be content to merely tell her children, what is right and good to do. It must provide actual opportunities in which children can do Christian thinking and carry out Christian act’s. The homeschool then becomes a practice school in Christian living.

In working together in the homeschool group to carry out Christian purposes, children find opportunities for Christian living, for putting into practice the teachings of Christ. Forbearance, patience, forgiveness, cooperation, brotherly and yes, the sympathy, sharing, sacrificing one’s own wishes and desires for the good of others. All of these are found in their beginnings in a homeschool with the atmosphere and leadership make the development of such traits a normal experience. Their characteristic of a homeschool only when the leaders care enough to plan and prepare themselves for their work. And when they know how to work with the child’s nature and not contrary to its, when they recognize his capacities as well as his limitations. We will not talk in this series of articles only about homeschooling methods rather. We will talk about attributes in capacities which God has implanted within the child’s nature, so that he may learn and grow toward Christlike menace. We hope to help homeschooling teachers recognize and deal with some of the problems of growing children. As a result of these recent articles, it is our prayer that homeschooling teachers will be able to better evaluate their own homeschooling methods and to choose a homeschool program or homeschool curriculum which will truly help them to guide their children more effectively in their development as Christians.

By Mimi Rothschild

The longer range goal of developing in each student a Christlike character does not intend to Terri and Joe and Johnny will all be exactly alike in 10 or 15 years, anymore than they are like now. A Christlike character is not a fix to mold into which each developing personality is to be forced. Personality is precious, unique, God-given, and there are as many personality types as there are people. Fun-loving, Tommy serious Sally and realistic Ricki will certainly be individuals, alike in their Christlike character, we trust, but differing from one another as flowers, birds or trees do, under the same beautiful son.

But how does the homeschooling teacher work with purpose, if there is no single task with which to work? Teachers need to recognize as Paul did, that people differ in abilities in capacities, and gifts and in nature. Though all made love and serve Christ with equal devotion, some will do it best as teachers, some as parents some as businessmen, some in this capacity and some in that. Homeschooling parents must work with each of their students just as Jesus did, holding back impetuous Peter, inviting shy Andrew into his home., discussing meanings with cultured Nicodemus, seeking out the repentant sinner, excepting service from the hand of a weeping woman. Was Peter like John after his experience with Christ? Was Nicodemus, like Andrew? No, each board the imprint of the master, but not in lost his identity or personality. With each one Jesus used a different approach. The wise teacher will cherish Fred’s sense of humor, tarries immature idealism, rakes and realistic approach to a problem. He will not try to make Terri like Sally or Joe like break. He will seek to enrich each personality, and to provide those opportunities and experiences that will develop the best in each child. The homeschooling parent will seek to bring them all to the master for that further enrichment and fulfillment that is beyond the human teacher to provide. This series of articles will help the homeschooling teacher understand our children better, but we must always remember that there are always Divine resources and power supplementing everything we do.

Edited by Mimi Rothschild, CEO, Learning By Grace, leading provider or online CHristian education for Prek-12 homeschoolers

Parents are people, too, and at times are living under a variety of pressures. When they are physically tired and emotionally ratepayer, adults do find it hard sometimes to except and to understand the emotional outbursts of a child. Frequently they share the feeling of the mother, who was playing cowboys and Indians with her three active children. As one of the boys aimed his gun at his mother and yelled I got you. She collapse in a heap and did not get up. And it site his bystander rushed over to us, to her to see whether she was all right, opening one I & the mother replied. Sure, I always do this is the only chance I ever get to rest!

When we understand that it is sometimes our own frayed nerves that prompt us to dam up the flow of a children’s feelings, we are able to deal with their emotions for objectively.

The result of a child’s been taught to conceal his emotions may strike us so deeply that he not only hide his feelings from others. But, to decree loses touch with himself. This had happened, for example, when we heard a youngster he made the other day that he wasn’t sure whether he was hungry, afraid, jealous or envious. I don’t know how I feel he said. In this case being unable to identify his emotions intensify this frustration and left him unable to control the feelings he could not recognize and the underlying causes of which he could not understand. It’s things we don’t face that we cannot handle. If one has not been taught to recognize and accept his emotions for what they are, he is not in a position to control them.

As a consequence of having been taught to hide his feelings, by the time the child reaches adolescence but natural quality and flow of his emotions frequently have been overlaid with many pretenses and distortions. We cannot understand or recognize the source source of his emotions. This prevents him from becoming a mature person, for the mature person can look reality in the face. He can accept his own inner cravings and impulses and deal with them appropriately. One cannot do this if he has been taught to feel so ashamed of guilty because of his emotions that he is repressed them.

People for frayed to assert themselves or who avoid all kinds of competition may have become that way because they were severely reprimanded in childhood for showing signs of jealousy, anger or some other negative impulse. Children were praised only for controlling their emotions may feel this is the one way in which they can excel. The result may be that they become retiring and sees a certain themselves.

This important than one not carry into adulthood feelings that belong to child simply because he never was taught to recognize, except and understand those childhood feelings and thereby learn to master them. Without once being aware of it, the extreme anger he feels towards a friend who failed to show up for a lunch engagement can occur because it subconsciously reminds him of his unexpressed attitudes towards his father who deserted him in childhood. The pressure a woman feels always to please her woman friends may be traceable to unacknowledged childhood feeling that her mother didn’t want her. The adults may always be silent at a party because as a child he had unexpressed feeling that other people were not interested in what he had to say. There is a vast difference between concealing emotions and coming to terms with them. In the first instance, they come to rule the individual without his knowing it in the latter case, the person rules them and uses them wisely through facing his emotions for what they are.

Parents are people, too, and at times are living under a variety of pressures. When they are physically tired and emotionally ratepayer, adults do find it hard sometimes to except and to understand the emotional outbursts of a child. Frequently they share the feeling of the mother, who was playing cowboys and Indians with her three active children. As one of the boys aimed his gun at his mother and yelled I got you. She collapse in a heap and did not get up. And it site his bystander rushed over to us, to her to see whether she was all right, opening one I & the mother replied. Sure, I always do this is the only chance I ever get to rest!

When we understand that it is sometimes our own frayed nerves that prompt us to dam up the flow of a children’s feelings, we are able to deal with their emotions for objectively.

The result of a child’s been taught to conceal his emotions may strike us so deeply that he not only hide his feelings from others. But, to decree loses touch with himself. This had happened, for example, when we heard a youngster he made the other day that he wasn’t sure whether he was hungry, afraid, jealous or envious. I don’t know how I feel he said. In this case being unable to identify his emotions intensify this frustration and left him unable to control the feelings he could not recognize and the underlying causes of which he could not understand. It’s things we don’t face that we cannot handle. If one has not been taught to recognize and accept his emotions for what they are, he is not in a position to control them.

As a consequence of having been taught to hide his feelings, by the time the child reaches adolescence but natural quality and flow of his emotions frequently have been overlaid with many pretenses and distortions. We cannot understand or recognize the source source of his emotions. This prevents him from becoming a mature person, for the mature person can look reality in the face. He can accept his own inner cravings and impulses and deal with them appropriately. One cannot do this if he has been taught to feel so ashamed of guilty because of his emotions that he is repressed them.

People for frayed to assert themselves or who avoid all kinds of competition may have become that way because they were severely reprimanded in childhood for showing signs of jealousy, anger or some other negative impulse. Children were praised only for controlling their emotions may feel this is the one way in which they can excel. The result may be that they become retiring and sees a certain themselves.

This important than one not carry into adulthood feelings that belong to child simply because he never was taught to recognize, except and understand those childhood feelings and thereby learn to master them. Without once being aware of it, the extreme anger he feels towards a friend who failed to show up for a lunch engagement can occur because it subconsciously reminds him of his unexpressed attitudes towards his father who deserted him in childhood. The pressure a woman feels always to please her woman friends may be traceable to unacknowledged childhood feeling that her mother didn’t want her. The adults may always be silent at a party because as a child he had unexpressed feeling that other people were not interested in what he had to say. There is a vast difference between concealing emotions and coming to terms with them. In the first instance, they come to rule the individual without his knowing it in the latter case, the person rules them and uses them wisely through facing his emotions for what they are.