I was pensively looking out the sliding glass door as the rain pelted against the glass. I could not help wondering when all the rain would stop. Abruptly, I was brought back to reality by the cooing voice of the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.

"Who are you looking for, Noah?"

"No," I said before thinking, "I'm wondering how Noah put up with all of Mrs. Noah's questions during the flood."

Oops! Did I say that aloud?

I'm not quite sure what happened next but there was some mention about somewhere where the sun doesn't shine. I can't be sure because I was in too much of a tizzy at the time to follow her exact words. Of course, at the time there were more words than I could follow on my best day.

Scottish tradesman, a painter called Jack, was very interested in making extra money where he could. So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time. Eventually the Presbyterian Church decided to do a big restoration job on one of their biggest churches.

hen people say size does not matter, it is usually because it does not matter to them. However, to those of us who are definitely not vertically challenged it is a rather serious thing. I must admit there are times when I forget how tall I am. Then something happens reminding me of this fact of life.

A recent airplane flight once again brought this home to me. I always try to take the economy flights but I have come to realize that economy means different things to different people. For me, economy means saving money.

was sitting in my chair going through a large cookbook that had belonged to my grandmother when the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came into the room.

"Are you reading a cookbook?" she asked.

Let me stop here and just start from the beginning.

10. Don’t miss the boat.

9. Remember that we are all in the same boat.

8. Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.

7. Stay fit. When you’re 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

6. Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

5. Build your future on high ground.

4. For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.

3. When you’re stressed, float a while.

2. Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

1. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting.

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.” He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.